Albert Einstein, or Bust

The best part of teaching is that it matters. The hardest part of teaching is that every moment matters, every day.

Every decision I make will have a lasting effect on each kiddo in the room. That’s heavy. That’s stressful. That’s what I pray about daily and cry about hourly, and by hourly I really mean I cry much more frequently than that. Don’t feel bad for me. It’s as normal as breathing at this point. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love teaching, but man I’m sprouting glitter strands from my head faster than I had hoped. Yes I know, that’s fancy! Watching these kids try their hardest to master a concept, just to miss the mark, is heartbreaking. The standards that are expected of them are developmentally inappropriate. That isn't my fault, or my administrator’s fault. I’m just going to stop myself there, because pointing the finger and laying blame isn't going to change anything. I cannot control the decisions that are made. I can try and influence them, but ultimately my job is to do the best job I can with what I am given. I’m doing that. The best I can, and I strive everyday to do better than that. My job is to affect change on the things I have control over (My mind is currently not one of those things. I am slowly losing that to some unknown force).

Albert Einstein once said that “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” That fella was with it. He knew what was up. He also sported a beautiful head of hair (The higher the hair, the closer to God, Albert. You go boy!), which totally tips the scale, and puts me on Team Albert, all the way. Anyway, it is this thought that lead me to venture into uncharted waters. It is this thought that lead my colleagues, and friends, to refer to me as “brave” (Just to clarify, I am so not brave, but I pretend to be…no one can tell the difference.). In all seriousness, it’s not that I’m trying to be brave, or radical, or modern, or innovative. Truth: what was happening in my room last year, and the year before, wasn't working. Something was missing. Something needed to change. So, one day I reflected on my life as a college student (I was a college student for six years, so when I say one day I don’t really mean one day. Oh and to clarify, I acquired two degrees in those six years. I wasn't trying to make a career of it; although my bank account would disagree, as money will be drafted from it to pay my loan…until the end of time!). Anyway, back to my self-reflection. I considered my study habits. There were study environments that had a negative effect on my ability to retain, and truly learn, content. On the other hand, there were study environments that completely, and fully, contributed to my quest to get the heck out of school and LEARN the information I was so diligently studying (refer to the beginning of this blog about the crying…that happened a lot here too). So, I decided to stop doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, and change some things and expect different results. Before I take you on this life changing journey of mine, let me just say that I am in no way insulting my colleagues, nor am I suggesting that what they are doing in their classrooms is wrong. Each teacher has their own teaching style and an idea of what works best for them. I support them and their efforts. If you are reading this, I support you! Ok, so now that I have cleared that up lets embark on this challenging, exciting, “brave” journey.

You’re probably wondering what the heck I have been talking in circles about the past, well however long it has taken you to read to this point. I am talking about shaking it up, challenging your classroom ideas, doing what’s best for your kiddos. So that’s what I’ve done, what’s best for my kiddos. If you walk in my room you won’t find desks and chairs (They were stolen, so I had to devise an alternative classroom setup…seriously, that’s what inspired this. Not really, were you buying that?!? You were, weren’t you? But really, who steals desks and chairs?). Anyway, back to what I was talking about (Are you recognizing a pattern here? Remember, I am slowly losing my mind. Perhaps not as slow as I’d like). If you walk in my room you will see legless tables and floor pillows, bean bags, moon chairs, a couch, and a soon-to-arrive chair swing. The room is flooded with incandescent light from several lamps (because fluorescent lighting is the root of all evil…that may have been an over dramatic statement, but you know you agree). It is very different from anything the kids, or I, have experienced. That’s what is so magical about this process. It is new to all of us. It is a learning experience for all of us. It is rewarding for all of us.

It’s easy to buy a bunch of non-traditional seating and throw it in a room, but creating a successfully functioning non-traditional environment takes work, accountability, and follow through. It was exciting to see the looks on the kiddos faces when they first walked into the room, and a little humorous (when I say a little, I mean it was really entertaining) to see their faces when I told them they couldn't sit in any of the seats and to take a seat on the carpet. I couldn't allow them to sit on the furniture, because they didn't know my expectations. Who am I kidding? I didn't know my expectations. I didn't know what I was doing! I knew I was going to have to fake it ’til I could make it. So, that’s what I did. I decided to demonstrate some do’s and do not’s. I flopped around on the bean bags, rolled around in the moon chairs, had a pillow fight with someone 19 years younger than me (I won!), and danced on the tables (This was the first time I have ever  done anything like that. What??! It was!?). We all agreed that these behaviors were not conducive to our learning environment. So began the process of the kiddos drafting the expectations for our learning environment. The level of accountability in our learning community is amazing. They know what to do and when to do it. They may not grasp the content fully, but they are EXCITED TO LEARN! They want to do their best and are visibly disappointed when they don’t. They ASK FOR HELP, and fully hold me accountable to do my job. The glorious thing is, I don’t have to hold them accountable to do their jobs, because they do that for me! I never would have dreamed that my idea to provide some level of familiarity, and comfort, would have lead to such great things. Let me clarify, all of my kiddos aren't mastering all of the content. All of my kiddos aren't passing their assessments, or even the six weeks. But what all of my kiddos are doing, is working hard, respecting our learning community, and fostering their love of learning. And now I am crying again, not because I've pulled at my own heartstrings, but because it is 10:32 at night…that’s TWO HOURS past my bedtime and I am feeling delirious (Yes, I go to bed at 8:30 because I’m cool like that, and by cool I mean old, and by old I mean…well, old).